My Bedroom(Draft 1)
There are many things in my bedroom, when I enter my room, my computer is in the left corner, and my bed is on the left next to the computer. My bookcase is in the right corner,there are many text books and comic books in my bookcase, my desk and chair are beside it ,my desk is very old but it still beautiful and clean. The windows are between the bookcase and the desk on the right wall, I can see the park from the windows. I like all things in my bedroom.
posted by Ryuka(暐) at 7:30 PM
7 Comments:
有很多corner的感覺 一個房間有那麼多corner嗎
when 前面不用逗號吧!!
in the right corner,there are many text books->"and" there are many text books
My bookcase is ....你的這一個句子未免也太長了吧!!還有這是一個句子的話，my的前面都少一個and了吧!!
on the right wall, I can see the park from the windows.->I 的前面是否要加個連接詞呢?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
我也覺得那句很長((同樣被大支拼命嫌句子太長的可憐小孩))
My bookcase is 那句太長了,可以把my desk 那段寫成另ㄧ個句子,
可以看到公園…好好喔！(我家只看得到晾乾的衣服)
My bookcase is in the right corner,there are many text books and comic books in my bookcase, my desk and chair are beside it ,my desk is very old but it still beautiful and clean.->好長的一段話唷!!
我也是被嫌corner用太多的其中一個人!!
Post a Comment
<< Home