A Taboo Love[Draft 1]
Amanda was a beautiful and young English teacher in one senior high school. Adam was Amanda's student, but he fell in in love with her, and Amanda love him too. Their love was a taboo, both their parents couldn't accept it, they felt Amanda and Adam couldn't fall in love with each other,or they won't get happy life. Parents's thought pained Amanda and Adam, but their love not disappeared for a long time. Finally, their parents understood that their love was true love, they felt their love was so touching, too. So they decided to let Amanda and Adam together. In the phone told to Adam this good news, Amanda was so happy that she cried so long, Adam was happy, too. And they wished they can stay with each other forever.
posted by Ryuka(暐) at 5:24 AM
8 Comments:
應該沒什麼錯誤
看到眼睛快花了
(女傭跟長工也要forever嘛!)
1.but he fell in in love with her,
多了一個in
2. Parents's thought pained
Parents'就好
痾 好愛情小說
1.and Amanda love him too.用過去式
2.but their love not disappeared for a long time.我覺得didn't disappeard
3. In the phone told to Adam this good news 沒有主詞
4.happy可以用其它代替一下
5.Amanda was so happy that she cried so long應該是for a long time
Parents's->parents'
Parents's thought pained...這句話怪怪ㄉㄟ!
get "a" happy life
but their love "was"not disappeared for a long time.
their love was true love,"and" they felt their love....
Adam was happy, too.改成so was Adam比較好
1.young English teacher 少加個a
2.fell in in love 重複了
3.Amanda love him too是loved
4.but their love not disappeared 是didn't
1.but he fell "in" in love with her
2.Amanda "loved" him ,too
3.their love did not disappear
1..he fell in in love with her->多一個in
2..Amanda love him too->loved
3..Parents's->parents'
4..their love did not disappeare for a long time
5..Amanda was so happy that she cried so long, "and" Adam was happy, too
and Amanda love him too. too前面要加，
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